I decided to get back into the dating game. After taking some time off to work on myself through my freedom sessions course, blogging, and finally living on my own. I’m feeling more comfortable to be myself, and want to once again, start the search for someone to share my life with.
I was hesitant because I’ve been on so many bad online dates in the past, but that being said, I probably wasn’t ready to date back then, thus resulting in disastrous experiences. Nonetheless, I decided to give the online dating world one more shot.
After one sketchy date that didn’t go anywhere, I was lucky enough to have met someone during my time back that I like – ‘not crazy much or anything. Just a normal, medium sized like. Because he’s pretty awesome.’ What struck me about this one guy in particular was how caring, considerate and positive he was while chatting. He was easy to talk to and so cute. I loved the pictures he chose to display, and noticed his little dimple. I didn’t know how tall he was, but who has ever complained about a guy being too tall? Not to mention he’s also dark and handsome.
When we first met, I was intrigued by his interesting and passionate answers to the first date questions I prepared. I also noticed how adorably shy he was – he drank the entire glass of wine so quickly! As the date went on, I realized how respectful he was of my boundaries and he told me later on how he really wanted to earn and not break my trust. I also discovered that he is sweet and gentle.
At the end of our second official date, I was blushing as I received hand picked roses from a rose bush. I was smitten by this gesture. I feel cared for and appreciated. I also feel adored and doted upon. When I’m not with him, I find myself wanting to memorize his face. Right now, I find myself on cloud 9, enjoying the honeymoon stage. I find I have more of a reason to get dressed up and to put effort into myself. I’m also more motivated to clean more and keep a tidy space.
Current Playlist / Soundtrack to our romance:
Kiss by Kiss – Brett Young
Kiss by kiss I am getting to know you
And every time you look at me I just want to hold you
All my life I’ve been waiting for you
Little by little I’m falling for you
Kiss by kiss I’m falling for you
Kiss by kiss
As we get to know each other more, I also want to take this as a chance to grow myself and further work on myself. I know I need to address my insecurity, my centre of attention tendencies, my fear of intimacy / attachment and my needing to win. For example, I was feeling competitive with my cooking skills as I learned that he’s a better cook than me! I immediately felt embarrassed because I am the girl, and also felt motivated to practice more to beat him, rather than simply delighting in the fact that he can cook well and has made me the best egg I have ever eaten. I also sometimes act as a martyr, pretending that I don’t need anything in return. But this time, I feel like my needs are finally getting met. He gives me the quality time and attention I need, and doesn’t take advantage of the fact that I’m willing to do all the dishes or offer to pay / buy many gifts. I really feel like he’s meeting me in the middle, and doing more than expected.
I’ve learned that we are attracted to each other because we can be opposites. For example, he is an introvert while I am an extrovert and he falls on the judging side of the meyer briggs personality (prefer a planned or orderly way of life, like to have things settled and organized, feel more comfortable when decisions are made, and like to bring life under control as much as possible) while I am perceiving (To others, I seem to prefer a flexible and spontaneous way of life, and I like to understand and adapt to the world rather than organize it. Others see me staying open to new experiences and information).
I look forward to getting to know him more, and to try new things together in this journey. My friends and family are telling me to take it slow, but it simply feels so natural going at the pace we are at. I do want to know EVERYTHING there is to know about this one particular being, and I look forward to digging deeper everyday. Some things I want to further explore are: values, struggles, spiritual autonomy, friendships, common interests, and goals.
I am also maintaining a support network and trying (no matter how difficult) not to get swept away into time with each other only. I’m taking the time to chat with friends and am also balancing out regular activities like church, coffee dates with friends and work with time together.